Substantial Myth

polarthestral @ 2009-07-02T00:21:00

2009-07-02T14:16:37Z

Wow...um. Huh. Just read an Alan Ball interview where he discussed that the Charlaine Harris books were all about Sookie/Bill and any other characters are secondary to their story. Huh. I didn't get that at all. Not sure what to say since he obviously loves their storyline and there's no way around that. If we ever get a "triangle" or an Eric/Sookie moment, it'll merely be part of the Bill/Sookie story. In a way, it's good to know that now and at least he isn't lying to us about the show exploring all options.

Maybe after the lastest book his perspective is not wrong. Sure, there are books where Bill is almost entirely absent but, heck, it could still be all about Bill/Sookie if Charlaine Harris intended for every other suitor in the series to lead Sookie back to her first and truest love *vomits*. I say this because I read the most recent book with this constant feeling of inevitable doom. I can hardly be irritated that the show is erasing Eric when it seems that's about to happen in the books too from this girl's perspective. Hopefully I'm just being cynical but here are my thoughts from the pretty disappointing Dead and Gone.

Dead and Gone - Charlaine Harris

I finished the most recent Sookie Stackhouse book and I have to say…it reminds of Anita Blake. The more I read the series, the more I feel jerked around, the less emotionally connected I am to the heroine. In other words: the less I give a damn. Charlaine Harris always promises that there will be development with Eric and Sookie, explanations about the ramifications of their ‘bond’ and a discussion of what happened between them in Dead to the World.

DttW was book FOUR. We’re now on book NINE.

Even though Eric and Sookie had sex and swapped more blood, it was tantamount to a bootie call from Sookie's perspective. There were no tender feelings on her side. She talked about sex and lust and seemed mostly withdrawn from him emotionally, unless she was feeling falsely calm in his presence due to their bond. In other words, their connection is portrayed almost entirely through this bond in the book and even though we get revelations about his past, Sookie seems to have very little interest. It comes up once, randomly, in a public place believe it or not. All this information that Eric had kept hidden is suddenly disclosed in room full of vampires with super-hearing. She asks questions but the answers seem to make no mark on her. Then she goes off la-la-la and that's that. Nothing seems to resonate on her emotionally and that's the problem with every aspect of the book, not just her relationship with Eric (although, obviously that frustrates me the most since he's the only reason I still read these books).

Granted, Charlaine had the ‘amnesia’ excuse to prevent a discussion between the charcters for several books, but I think the conversation really needed to be in this one for the story to have any realism. Instead, it's like she contrives delay upon delay until it's too late. Their most important conversation is now why Eric didn't save her life rather than what happened between them. Which makes me wonder if we'll ever have the first conversation or if it will just be painful if we do. She's written these characters as incapable of communicating with each other because Sookie doesn't know the reality of her own feelings anyway (that's not waffle, she literally can't distinguish between the bond and herself). If Eric finally does confess his love, I venture it will be too late because Sookie is in love with Bill again.

Bleghhhhhhhhhhh.

That's right - she remembered her love and loved him again. Words she's never thought or expressed to Eric and probably never will. What's disappointing about this is that I feel we've been teased for nine books and will get nothing. Alcide and Sam fans may feel the same thing but I think Eric has been the forerunner for some time in the books (due to the bond), whereas the other two characters have been in the background, thus I'm I have a shock that feels like whiplash. Never assume! I suppose we should have known since Alan Ball believes the story to be about Bill/Sookie, that he might have got that from someone. I thought Bill was out of the picture but maybe I just imagined that from Charlaine Harris and she's neither confirmed nor denied anything (which sounds more like a writer).

True, Sookie's been "with" Eric in two books so we did get more than Sam or Alcide fans. However, he had amnesia in one of those books and was nothing like his true personality. Sookie felt no qualms exploring her lust for him when he was vulnerable (though I'm sure she would have been pissed and possibly had Eric killed if he'd done the same). The second time around she seemed to use him as convenient sex and Bill was lurking outside the house 'watching over' her. *shudders*

As soon as Eric got his original memory back and consequently lost the pocket of time he'd been without himself, she lied to him because he'd have 'power' over her if he knew the truth. She doesn't even think about the way she's abusing her power over him because she's the good guy and Eric's the bad guy. Why do I get myself involved with uneven ships like this? It's like bashing your head against a wall thinking something will change when you should learn from experience that it doesn't. It really doesn't. Of course Eric is left in the dust.

He's had his memory back for a while now and we still haven’t had a discussion or even a decent section of emotional exposition from Sookie as the narrator. In this book she constantly blows off thinking about her complicated connection with Eric, while having epiphanies about her love for Bill and new understanding of his behaviour. Blegh. She even randomly thinks of Sam when she wants to see someone who loves her. I mean, Sam is my second choice so 'yay' in a way, but still random.

I got chills at the end of this book when it became clear that we were probably never going to see Eric and Sookie as a couple in this universe. I thought Bill had had his day. Quinn got his. Alcide, Eric and Sam were the other options. Eric has been the only one CONSTANTLY there as a romantic interest, constantly having a hand in the drama and the propulsion of the plot. And yet….nothing. We keep getting teased and getting nothing for it. I would have liked the relationship to be explored, for them to have a discussion, for Sookie to take the chance she did with Bill and try a relationship with him. But there is no growth in their relationship. They had a nice chat about his history but it was also very unemotional to me. The whole thing seemed to be because of their blood bond and there was basically no emotional reaction on Sookie’s side to any of Eric’s personal information (and what the hell was up with him laying all of that stuff out in PUBLIC when he’s been so stony up until now?).

I say we are likely never going to get this relationship because it felt like Charlaine Harris used this book to redeem Bill: sure, he’d done LOTS of bad stuff, but he was willing to DIE for Sookie and that’s all that mattered to her in such an extreme situation. It doesn't matter that she's been saved by a bunch of other guys that loved her - THIS time it was Bill. Yay!

Granted, Charlaine Harris tortured Sookie in a horrible way in this book, much worse than she's ever been before. I didn’t feel the emotional impact because it was a bit fluffy and in her head and I’d felt disconnected from her for the whole book, but we were meant to. Bill saved her and we immediately felt the disconnect to Eric. Even though Eric had come to Sookie’s aid before when she was in crisis (e.g. the bomb in All Together Dead), Sookie had not experienced this level of torture before and Eric’s absence probably killed their sex buddy relationship dead. (I say sex buddy because when Sookie thinks of Eric she basically thinks of him as a giant penis since she will never focus on emotions while they are blood bonded). I hate that we have seen Eric’s feelings gradually develop, felt this tension building, only to have it slam into Sookie’s blood-bond-no-thank-you wall and come to nothing.

That’s what it felt like at the end when Eric carried Sookie to Bill and she remembered all that was good in him and loved him again. LOVED him again. She remained focused on Bill the rest of the time too. I don’t care if the book says it was only for a minute, she admitted she loved him which is more than she’s ever done for Eric and that’s enough said. Then we had her holding hands with Bill and that heavy anvil: “The vampire is a good man and he loves you.” (Or something like that, I can’t be bothered getting the exact quote.)

This quote bugged me on so many levels. For one thing, this comment shouldn’t matter. We know both Eric and Bill love her. The only person Eric’s love could be a shock to is Sookie herself. The only way Niall’s “information” could be a revelation to Sookie is if it referred to Eric. The likelihood of that being the case given Niall was with Bill all day is very, very small. We could grasp at straws and say Eric was the one who called him, that perhaps Eric did something to save Sookie from a distance that Niall knew about. It feels like straw grasping to me, especially considering Niall fought alongside Bill.

Why Sookie would need to be told Bill was a good man and he loved her is beyond me given her own thoughts. Who cares what Niall thinks? Why did the book have to end on his thoughts and a manufactured triangle when the answer is inside Sookie and she can’t be bothered looking? Why can't Sookie make a decision without being propped by the approval of someone else? Why can't she make a decision full stop? It's the wishy washy that's sooooo irritating. Honestly!

If it does refer to Eric, she’d probably continue to disbelieve it anyway as she disbelieves and doubts every complement he gives her even when he has lost his memory and could have no possible motive to dissemble. Both vampires love her, I’m not disputing that. What matters is who Sookie loves. I’m sick of guys having to prove their love, especially when I feel they have both done it over and over again and Sookie is the one that flits about between men and dumps them for sometimes extremely selfish reasons (not that I liked Quinn, but to dump him because he has dependent family and she wants to be number one priority? Am I meant to respect her for that??? There were WAY better reasons).

I think, in the end, Sookie is like a lot of heroines in these supernatural books, the most obvious example being Anita Blake. Everybody loves her. She’s wishy washy and gets to sample and flit about without really making up her mind. Meanwhile, all the men love her and only her. This is ANNOYING. This trait is a common ill in many heroines because for some reason writers believe men have to prove themselves to ladies and not vice versa. I have hated TV heroines for this exact reason and, though I’ve always found Sookie slightly annoying and abrasive at times, I prevented myself from putting her in this category for a long time.

She says she’s loyal but I don’t know about that on an emotional level. Reading this book was painful to me on many levels because I feel it’s obvious Eric has willingly submitted himself to the bond between them (I say submitted because she has A LOT of power over him) because he loves her. She never allows him to say that because I do not believe she loves him. Eric initiated a lot of the emotional talk between them in Dead to the World (and thereafter). He has always chased her and softened long before her. She spends most of her time denying what he says to her is true (even offhand complements about enjoying sex or her beauty are doubted because of his age and experience). The other half enjoying the lust of perfect sex with such an experienced man. Every time he kisses her, she mentions her enjoyment in connection with his VAST EXPERIENCE in the art of kissing, not the simple pleasure of kissing him for who he is. Like her reaction is what anybody would feel because he is skilled and not because she has any particular feelings for him.

She says she hasn’t made a decision about her feelings because she isn’t sure if what she feels is due to the bond or not. I believe this is partially true but she never had these qualms with Bill and she had a reasonably strong bond there too having taken Bill's blood twice. In the end, I think most of what she waffles about Eric is bullshit. I had serious Veronica vibes from her in this book and that made me uncomfortable because I don’t want to hate another female character just because I believe my favourite character is about to get clobbered over the head with the reality that he’s not the one for the girl. I'm irritated for the same reason I get irritated with a lot of serial paranormal romances. The flitting back and forward for hot sex between multiple supernatural creatures just because it's sexy.

I felt this book was depressing and shallow and glossed over way too many moments. We never got to pause and absorb, we never got to experience genuine reactions to multiple revelations. Harris further pulled apart Eric and Sookie through the strength of their bond. One of the major parts of their relationship I loved was their spark, the way they battled with wits – this was doused because Sookie couldn’t seem to stay angry with him. She understood him and calmed down very easily because he was calm and thus we didn't really get to read one of their verbal spars in this novel. Not only did it make Eric look like he was manipulating and controlling Sookie’s emotions but it gave Charlaine Harris the easy out – she didn’t need to write a difficult conversation between them because they were incapable of it. What an ingenious stroke of laziness!!!

Thus whenever an interesting ethical moment came up (Eric tricking Sookie into presenting him with the marriage knife to protect her from being taken by the new King etc.), she just got a bit upset and then seemed to shrug it off. There was no conversation where we could see the arguments on either side and experience the emotions in that struggle – his desire to protect her and keep her, against her desire to be completely independent (even if it puts her life at risk).

Nope. In this book they just have nice chats about stuff that, though interesting, is NOT what we want to read about given all the important stuff that needs to be covered and never is. I mean, I'm glad we finally know how Eric became a vampire but I was distracted throughout the whole conversation just wondering what he was going on about and WHY. It felt jagged and out of place, like a lot of the random bits of information in this novel.

It’s almost like Charlaine Harris was scared of Eric/Sookie now that Bill/Sookie has such popularity on the show and that many of her new readers will have come from the show’s fanbase. It felt like a copout to have Bill suddenly rise to a main character again after so long on the sidelines. IT’s especially annoying given that the character that HAD been building up to a relationship with Sookie that probably won’t go any further now was Eric.

Heck, why have a conversation between Eric and Sookie at all when we can just delay, delay, delay until no one gives a flying fuck and Bill has been redeemed? I honestly think the memories of ‘their time’ in book four have very little relevance to their current relationship except that Eric wanted to marry her then (when he had no sly motivations) and kind of is married to her now. His feelings, as I said, are quite clear even if Sookie refuses to acknowledge them because then she’d have to admit she’s the one using him for sex. I really don’t believe after this book that she feels anything like the depth he does. She has valid reasons to be unsure, but when you throw in the fact she's now in love with someone else and we've been purposefully prevented from learning anything new about the implications of the blood bond, I just don't see how their relationship can go anywhere. Sookie doesn't want it to.

A bunch of characters I loved died, that didn’t help me appreciate the book especially since ONE of those characters had a Rowling death (that’s my term for major character deaths not considered important enough to explore by the author so they happen off-page – it happened a lot in Deathly Hallows). I hate Rowling deaths.

The most intriguing comment that had my brain screaming was also the most foreboding and the reason I’ll probably return to not reading the future books until I’ve been spoiled and prepared for the worst. I did have some optimism for a while, but Pam’s last comment made my skin crawl. When Clancy died, Eric stated quite seriously that he would live on in Bill (who he had given a lot of blood to so Bill could fight the fae). Pam then said – bizarrely – "as you live on in Sookie."

WHAT??????

What the hell does that mean???

When I first read it, I just thought it made no sense at all. Then I read some reviews and realized some people may be on to something--

Is Eric dying? Did he make some kind of deal we don’t know about? I was really confused when I read that comment and flicked back through the pages wondering what it referred to because it was a bit too morbid to refer to their bond. Especially when Pam says it quietly. Is Eric going to die? I will be so PISSED OFF, especially given this is the same scene in which Bill and SOokie are holding hands as their injured bodies are taken away. It’s like Eric has done something to facilitate a happy reunion between them. Blegh. Blegh. Blegh. One of the biggest fears with the show is that they will not seriously explore Eric as a contender for Sookie's heart. Of course they won't. Nor will Sam, Alcide or Quinn (if they show up) stand a chance. Alan Ball has said verbatim that the show is about Bill/Sookie. But what if the books are about Bill/Sookie too??? What if all the other guys Sookie has discarded when the going got tough were just instruments to make her see that she's meant to go back to Bill? ARGHHHHHHH.

I wish I could be happy either way but I can’t. Not with Bill. I really went off his character when he raped her and before that I never really loved them as a couple. I always preferred Eric, I am completely biased, but I really feel that there’s nothing Charlaine Harris can do to make me want Sookie to be with Bill. I'd accepted Sam as an option because then Sookie could grow old with someone in the sunlight and have kids. I didn't even mind Alcide. Wasn't that into Quinn but that's probably due to where he was placed in the timeline. But BILL????? Just...no. Never.

The only way I will want that is if I start to hate Sookie. If Eric dies, congratulations, I’ll want her with Bill…so that I can trap them in her house inside my head and burn them alive.

People seem all over the place in regards to this series. alethialia didn’t perceive any weakening in the Eric/Sookie bond (as described by Charlain Harris before the book was released) but I think their bond did weaken. Charlaine Harris seemed to lose interest in them as a potential couple and seems to be starting to fire the nails into Eric’s coffin so to speak, in the same way she did with Bill. Only Bill has come back now and Sookie has forgiven him everything.

Sigh.

Whhhhhhyyy?

Sookie has never really grown as a character, as established by her unwillingness to see something different in Eric even though he has DRASTICALLY changed in his behaviour toward her. Pam even spoke to her out of genuine concern for his emotional wellbeing (in book seven, I think) and Sookie just fobbed her off because she was in a relationship and it wasn’t her fault. I don’t think she can make her relationships work because she doesn’t change. She can’t adapt to how the characters around her change either. Thus, she can only end up with Bill because he’s the one she loved at the start and the one she was willing to open up to. Nothing has changed since then. Bill had to commit the most grevious of sins for her to cast him out – two of them – and she’s still forgiven him while never really letting either Quinn or Eric into her heart.

I think Sookie has to change after this book or there will be no realism. I can't see it as a positive change since the end of the book indicates: a) Bill regression, b) severe depression, and c) apathy with the world. The world is a destructive horrible place trying to use her and pull her in different directions. The new vampire King, the FBI, Eric, Bill, the fae, the shifters...everyone wants a piece of her and she is pulled apart. That's what it felt like and it was depressing, there was no spark of life and I don't see how she could pick herself up after this unless she's going to clutch to Bill. Which would just depress me more given their history.

If her only ‘change’ is to forgive Bill then the darkness and pain of this book was not worth it. IT would feel more like regression than growth to me personally. If Sookie bounces back like her torture was nothing…it’s completely unrealistic. In reality, I’d hope she didn’t become emotionally involved with either vampire for a long time while she absorbs what happened. Given she didn't absorb anything in the last book, it seems unlikely. All I can imagine is Sookie turning to Bill for comfort and casting Eric out because he didn’t save her, in the same way she cast Quinn out for not putting her first. I can’t imagine her willing to listen to his explanations because, since the torture was so bad, she may consider no excuse good enough (even if, god forbid, it had to do with sacrificing himself or something vital to him). Thus, Eric is out in the cold again while Bill is warming up.

And Sam is still waiting in the wings. Part of me is cheering on Sam but I know his suit is probably hopeless too unless the kid thing sinks all vampires.

Sigh.

Given that the show took all the great Eric moments out of the early books, I don’t see any light at the moment for Eric/Sookie shippers. I was hoping reading this book would give my only "ship" at the moment a boost. Alas....I feel less optimistic than before.

At the moment, I’m still barely clinging to my love for all things Eric and Pam on the show. Is it wrong that if Sookie does go back to Bill and they’re happy ever after, I hope Pam cuts her off? I know they have a great friendship and all but I'm vengeful and so are vampires. lol I love Pam’s loyalty and protective streak when it comes to Eric, her genuine alarm at what his love for Sookie is doing to him and the power of his dominion. I’d love me some protective Pam.

At the moment I'll just watch the show for the pretty and try to turn off my brain. It's very difficult to do because the show seems to intentionally do scenes that included important Eric/Sookie moments in the books - but erases the Eric/Sookie part in those scenes. It's really, really weird and obvious. I don't understand it at all since Bill doesn't need to look more like a hero after the final episode of WHATEVER last season. It's like they don't want to give Eric a chance in the mind's of the viewers, even though Alan Ball has said the books themselves were about Sookie and Bill's love. If that's true, why not explore the complications in that love how they happened rather than trying to throw a wet blanket over any Eric/Sookie moment?

As for the books...I won't have to worry for a while but I've lost all interest in rereading. All I see when I read now is Bill/Sookie foreshadowing and I want that shit OUT of my brain. lol

polarthestral @ 2009-06-22T18:13:00

2009-06-22T08:29:21Z

Carnivale is love. Finished season two and decided if I was a TV, I could die happy after that season finale. I was plodding along thinking with this great climax, I probably won't mind that the show didn't continue because all the themes seemed to come to a head and we did receive several great answers. It was a better place to end it then the end of season one, because at least our protagonist had actually met his arch nemesis at the end. I was screaming with joy throughout the whole marathon, refused to go to sleep even though I had to work the next day and I'm still a bit sick, I just HAD to finish it.

I got more than I bargained for in the last ten minutes and wanted to CRY. Sigh. I wish more people liked the shows I do then Carnivale would have had more success than True Blood. Cest la vie, TV world.

I'm so, so, so glad I waited for years after the show was over to try it. I would have been so upset when this was cancelled if I'd followed it every week and speculated in a community environment about it. I also would have probably been one of those scary people fighting hard for a show to come back, in whatever form, just so that I know what happens. lol At least four years on, it's pretty safe to say, the cast, crew and creative teams have moved on and this gem ain't coming back. Sigh. I would be so excited if I heard there was a Carnivale movie; I don't think it would work as well in a book series, since information is so often conveyed visually in the show, but I would still buy it. I doubt it will happen though which sucks.

The bad thing is that now all the boards are gone (Basically) and I have no one to talk to about it except my roomie. She watched it with me and agreed it was awesome but doesn't really go into deep discussions and finds me funny when I get that interested and start asking a bunch of philiosophical questions and wondering what happens. She just says it was canceled, nothing happened. Grr. lol How can she not care when great TV (great storytelling - period) is so rare these days.

If anyone did watch it and can recommend a good fanfic that continued on from the last episode, I'd be much obliged. I'm too nervous to put a toe in there and it seems like all the fanfic archives are dead and gone except for ff.net (and I don't understand how a story true to the show could be ON ff.net considering all the sex, swearing and other creepy things that happened on it).

I'll probably pop online in a couple of weeks with some Carnivale icons because they were really difficult to find too. Carnivale web community, where are you?? It must be true that the best shows, have the last need for 'fanfic' intervention, and thus the least dedication to the online space because I was so surprised that the community was so dead already. Four years isn't long, considering the Roswell boards.

Oh and briefly. I have new love for Nick Stahl who is not my type but is quite perfect for this character and magnetic in the role. Clea Duvall, who I've always loved...*squishes* Never become a Hollywood starlet, you are class and grace and I wish I could have seen what you did next with Sofie's character because...dang.

polarthestral @ 2009-06-20T18:30:00

2009-06-20T09:09:25Z

Real life factoids:

- My new internet connection is so fast that I forgive it for taking so long to function. I've never had a connection so fast!!!
- I'm also sick with a water-cooler bug. I don't care! I just had a snotty, tissue-cushioned Carnivale marathon that made me feel better. :)
- I had to make up a research question for my Information Management major assignment and I "manufactured" a fantasy novel concept that required background research. I did my first REAL research into that vampire story that's been kicking around in my head since highschool. I actually named one of my characters and feel like I accomplished something. I knew I'd feel more creative if I wasn't studying English. Stupid contrary brain... It was amusing to interview a librarian about abattoirs and concentration camps in connection with each other though, I think a lot of people believe I'm going to become a serial killer in my near future. :) At least I didn't ask specific questions about slaughtering techniques...I did find this art book by Sue Coe called "Dead Meat!" that was very inspiring. Very macabre vegetarian perspective into the meat industry and since I'm a visual writer, I found looking at those images send my brain into a dark, disturbing twirl.

Fandom things that I noticed were awesome during my livejournal hiatus:

- Carnivale: It may not have worked out but I'll always be grateful to Tym for ordering me to watch this show while we dated. I almost texted him after I finished the first season to tell him he was awesome for sharing the awesome but that might have been...awkward and not so awesome of me. I can't believe I'm using awesome to describe it as I sound assinine and I realise that but it's almost too good for me to articulate any justifications for my apprecation. All I have are: lush, dense, intricate and...awesome. :) Definitely getting season two as soon as possible.

I was told (see first comment) that the show could have continued if the creator was willing to cut the budget dramatically as it was the most expensive show on TV at the time...if it's true he decided the show should end rather than compromise itself...wow. I know we all get upset when our favourite shows end but...wow: A creator who didn't cling and kiss ass to keep his show on the air no matter what. I will probably be really frustrated when I watch the second season but I think I will not have any bitterness toward the show because of that brave decision. THANKS Daniel Knauf. I also thank him for NOT being like J.J. of the fluffy-smoke-and-mirror mystery. I feel his tight rein on all the trick mirrors within Carnivale, I feel purpose and I don't feel led on a merry dance. Both are great for character but takes notes on the mystery writing J.J.

- Dead Like Me: Not as awesome as Carnivale. It pales in comparison so I prefer to compare it to other TV shows on at the moment so that it remains good. I liked the Dead Like Me concept and the credits always make me smile. :) Again, I've only bought the first season so far. I actually felt the last half of season one was weaker than the first; usually the opposite is true. Nonetheless I think I will eventually buy season two.

- Finally managed to catch up on How I Met Your Mother. More Barney/Robin - yay! And I really liked the mother information we got at the end there too. We weren't that far behind the show here but I had to download it anyway because I didn't have TV reception around the same time I didn't have the internet. Okay, I admit it, I stumbled through a doorway into the eighteenth century and got stuck there for a while. (Lost in Austen remains awesome too.) I did a quick flick across Gossip Girl sites too and noticed Chuck/Blair had a squishy moment. Congrats fans of that ship. I'm satisfied with that ending so I'll probably have no interest in the show now (hey, the cynic in me says it's only downhill from here and the other characters are flat as tacks to me).

And on my favourite movies list, I shall add:

Across the Universe. Why had I not bought this film earlier???? I know everyone and his dog wants to do something with the Beatles music nowadays but this musical was so well crafted. I appreciate it for similar reasons to why I loved Carnivale actually. They are both crafted with love and detail so, if you chose, you could watch them and pay attention to the background rather than the foreground and you'd still find new and amazing details that add to your understanding of the story. Every shot means something, every period prop has relevance and you can watch it again and again with new appreciation. It has a hand-crafted quality that is so lush and inspiring and makes you remember why you love creative expressions of humanity. I love the care that went into them: a quality increasingly rare in our consumer driven society.

Have you ever found it is much easier to discuss a show critically when there is something you do not appreciate about it? It's much harder to want to read/write fanfiction for a show like Carnivale when I know there is so much bad fanfiction out there and the show is so complex (and MESSED up, heh). Maybe I'll feel differently after season two when I'll be desperate for more answers but have no more episodes to satisfy me.

It feels strange to get into shows when they are over and done with but I also feel it's better for me too. I know the show is cancelled, there's no anxiety about that any more, there's also no suspense and gritting of the teeth and speculation between seasons. That stuff can kill your appreciation for a show especially if you picture the story going in one direction and it disappoints you. Nonetheless, I miss having a show to follow with people.

I'm going to watch True Blood which I just realized has a new episode out. But I doubt I'll squee much unless Eric suddenly has a bigger role. (See above point about disappointment...heh).

Since I'm basically loopless at the moment, does anyone know any new shows I should think about considering?

polarthestral @ 2009-06-04T23:02:00

2009-06-04T13:11:01Z

WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Hallelujah! I thought I'd never get the internet.

Who am I? Nobody cares any more? I thought so! But I must squee anyway!!!

Internet woes....the hits that kept on coming!

1) The jackass who lived in my new place did not disconnect their ADSL connection and I had to beg phone companies for weeks to cut it off because THEY DON'T LIVE HERE before I finally found a customer service person who was helpful (or it had finally lasted long enough that they didn't pay one of their bills - who knows?).
2) When it was finally connected it was the day before I went on study leave. I asked my new modem to be sent to my work address because I was not sure my roomie would be at home to collect it when it was delivered. Naturally it was delivered while I wasn't there so we waited until I could manage to get out there without failing my classes (did I mention I work a long way from home?). Although, the way things were going, I expected them to refuse to deliver it if I wasn't there to sign for it. Thank God they did not do that, I would have screamed.
3) I plug in the modem once I got it home and...drum roll...it doesn't work! Took hours to figure it out, but apparently they hadn't set me up under their company, but their wholesaler so everytime I type in @internetcompany.annoying.com their company thinks I'm putting in the wrong details and refused to accept my registration.

I spoke to customer service reps all night who were boggled by the fact my modem was not working when it was in perfect condition until I finally got someone senior who recognised the problem straight away. Sigh.

Goes to show you it's all about who you talk to. If you get someone unhelpful, just keep hanging up and calling back, eventually through statistical averages, you have to find someone useful, right?

I am so relived since I thought I'd have to move back into my mother's for a few days in order to post my assignments (they have to be submitted online).

After running around all day today, I'm not sure how well written my assignment will be since I basically lost twenty hours but I have the internet!! Who cares if I barely pass!! I have the internet!! lol

polarthestral @ 2009-05-09T09:11:00

2009-05-08T23:25:07Z

Drive-by post!!! Currently at the mother's waiting to pack more furniture. I have my own place. YAY! Can you believe that in this rental crisis, with people biting each other's legs off for a rental house in Sydney, the first house I liked and applied for (that's right my very first rental application at all), went through and I won???? I got struck by lightning luck!! The agent did give me a nudge though because he let slip that no one else had seen the property at all, it was just listed, and I was seeing it late Saturday afternoon. Which meant no one would be seeing it until Monday so if I got my application in on Monday and the owner was sweet it was all mine. My roomie was working flat out that week and hadn't even seen it when we won and paid the bond. Now THAT'S trust. I suppose she knows how anal I am and that I wouldn't get all excited about fixer-upper property (I may not lack imagination, but I am LAZY, lol).

Yay! Goody goodness.

Almost.

It does cut both ways since my roomie's lease doesn't end until the end of the month so I'm currently taking on the full rent by myself and that is tight to say the least.

On other things, I got to train in a couple of different and mind expanding things at work. Which is good. The job still has major low points but I'm not complaining at all. I'm happy to be stable at work at the moment even if I have to get up at six every morning (gah - HATE mornings).

I have no internet and it's a bit strange. I had no computer at all for several days. Getting bruises all over your body from being rammed into walls by couches just doesn't have the same meaning when I can't whine about it to my internet friends. Am I right? :)

I just wanted to say, I miss you all, and I'm doing my best to get hooked up so that I can catch up with you all and, hopefully, be able to research my dang university assignments online again. INTERNET I NEED YOU. Signing up with iiNet may have been a mistake, maybe I should have just gone for the standard Telstra and paid them a kidney for a decent, fast connection. Sigh.

I am stressed (in a busy, semi-positive life way) and in need of a fic. Has anything I read been updated in the last month?? Do you know?? I probably will never find them on my friends list now but if there are big names I should hunt for let me know. Also, right before I lost my internet connection, ContraVeritas went down. And I had just received an alert in my e-mail that Sage had updated "The Fallout". I still haven't read the last chapter. AHHHH! It's like the one dramione multi-chapter fic I still follow religiously. And I'm hanging. Does anyone have a copy of this last chapter? I am willing to offer fic snippets? Or write chapters?? I wants ittttt! Hook a fellow fanatic up!!

Must go, getting the glares, hopefully I'll talk to you all soon!!

polarthestral @ 2009-02-27T19:52:00

2009-02-27T08:55:07Z

Things overheard on a Sydney train:

He says: "Who does she think she is anyway? I introduced her to everybody who matters; she would be nothing without me. It won't take much to make her nothing again."

Wow. Who knew GG was right? Private school kids really are evil.

I'm not kidding. That's exactly what he said, captain to captain with another private school girl.

I gotta stop listening to people from the north shore. lol

polarthestral @ 2009-02-21T11:25:00

2009-02-21T00:26:29Z

I give up. There's no way I can catch up with all the comments I've missed. I'm a terrible LJ friend but after hitting the 400 mark, it felt weird to be butting in to stuff people talked about ages ago.

My bad.

polarthestral @ 2009-02-10T17:35:00

2009-02-10T07:00:10Z

Just a response to some things yfrontz brought up regarding the Victorian bushfires and the investigations into how it happened.

I think Kinglake had two minutes warning because the CFA didn't even know that fire existed. I don't know if they suspect that one was arson, or if it started from a spark travelling in the wind from another fire, but it certainly started up out of nowhere and roared with a vengeance right over that town. There are so many people there who died holding hoses and running for their cars, so many bodies found near cars with keys in the ignition.

I was reading an interview the ABC did with a News Limited journalist who got caught in the fire. He was monitoring the CFA website like they tell you to, his wife was watching the valley outside to look for flames approaching. They still only had two minutes warning before the little sparks started falling and the sky went black. At first they thought it was coming from another fire because they could still see nothing and there was nothing on the website, they just tried to put out the little sparks coming through the doors. A couple of minutes later it got so creepily dark that they decided to leave and when they walked outside all their back trees were on fire. They couldn't save their dog, they only had enough time to run into their car.

Later he discovered that if they'd left straight away instead of trying to put out the small sparks for five minutes, they would have been dead on the street in the fire wall that killed so many people and melted those cars in place. Instead they got stuck on their property, surrounded by flames, and had no choice but to drive through the fire onto scorched ground, hoping it didn't come back (damn that's clever!). They just watched while their house burned down. If that ground hadn't been scorched and the fire hadn't moved on to their house they'd be dead.

He said they had so little warning that the only way the town would have been able to avoid such a death toll was if citizens just assumed a fire would be there when they were told conditions would be bad and left before the fires had started.

If an eyewitness can say that then I don't know how far they are going to get pointing fingers and deciding whether the CFA policy of 'stay or go' is right. We've never had a fire like this before; never had one move so fast with such intense radiant heat. And we've had REALLY bad fires before. Bushfires are an annual thing, heck, our eucalyptus trees only germinate in fire - they've evolved to be burned. The fact this is so much worse than Ash Wednesday and Black Friday is horrifying because those fires were terrible.

This area had fires in 2003 and 2006 and many of the residents that stayed probably had some experience and thought they could save their house as they had in the past. They predicted it would be bad but no one could have predicted how bad, and I'm not sure there's much point trying to lay blame like they're bound to with this royal commission (unless it's on arsonists). I'm all behind trying to get better plans in place but this was such an extraordinary disaster that I'm not sure they could have done anything to save the people of Kinglake.

They could always change the policy to compulsory evacuation. The problem with that is that many people would fight to stay. The police and the CFA can't waste time arguing with people to abandon their homes when they should be fighting fire. And it totally would happen. Some people are just so stubborn or they have no insurance or they're that heroic. Some people have such love for their town and their home that they are willing to risk their life (heck, plenty of the guys in these communites are part of the CFA) and we can't call that stupid even though it's easy to from a distance. If it's death or my house, I'll pick my life every time. But that still wouldn't have saved Kinglake since the CFA didn't even know the fire was there until Kinglake was already engulfed.

I think that no policy will unanimously save lives because hindsight is 20/20 and people can't know when they make the decision to stay or go how bad the fire will be until it's on top of them and then it's too late to leave. Sure, there are people just bugging out now because Kinglake has already happened and they know their house isn't worth their life. But when you're standing in your home and you can only see smoke and you have to make a decision....people can't possibly know how bad the fire is and whether or not they'll be able to save their house like they've saved it in the past. They have seconds to make that decision and it's impossible to judge them for whatever they decide to do. I sincerely hope that the blame game doesn't emerge out of the rage and bitterness bound to come out of all this grief.

Just to put it in perspective. One of the most tragic stories was of the man from another fire ridden area who drove his kids to Kinglake to stay at his in laws while he tried to save their house. He thought they'd be safe there because there was no fire heading in that direction and he didn't want them to be at the house just in case he didn't succeed. This guy is so prepared he has fire hoses attached to tanks at the back of his house. His neighbours come over and they save the house from this horrible fire against all odds, because he doesn't just have a piddly garden hose - his house is prepared to fight fire. He saves the house only to discover Kinglake is levelled. The only survivor from his family is his mother in law who has severe burns because she tried to run back into the house to save his kids.

I mean that's INSANE rotten chance. It couldn't have been predicted and he'll be messed up by what-ifs for the rest of his life. But he's not to blame any more than anyone else. The fire was beyond belief, unpredictable and unforgiving. They called it hell on earth, a holocaust, the fallout after a nuclear blast. Journalists tend to use over emotive words but none of the witnesses are disagreeing this time.

Here's an idea of how much of the state is or has been on fire, thanks to Google. The embedded map doesn't appear to be working.

As you can see that is not a small amount of ground these fires covered in such a short amount of time. Don't forget to donate whatever you can to THE RED CROSS BUSHFIRE FUND.

The kiwi and aussie cricket teams are donating all their pay from todays game to the cause which is awesome. The kiwis may "hate" us but I do love how our relationship is like a great sibling rivalry. We give each other heaps, but when we're in trouble we are always there for each other. The kiwi boys certainly didn't have to follow the aussie cricketers lead but they did. There are cricketers walking around in the crowd with donation buckets and they're also donating their shirts so they can be auctioned. We have assholes arsonists living here but it's good to know that so many people are willing to make sacrifices to help other people too.

polarthestral @ 2009-02-09T11:08:00

2009-02-09T00:28:24Z

They said the flames were the height of a tall building and they weren't kidding. You can see the flames through the smoke and look at the itty biddy fire truck.

The road melted beneath them and they are stuck that way. I get the creeps every time I see them trying to imagine what they must have felt. It's impossible.

Which brings me to the point of this second post...

Fellow Australians please give whatever you can to the Red Cross Bushfire Appeal. I'm sick at home with this bloody virus and can't help but watch this disaster unfolding; apparently those in charge prefer money donations to material goods because so many useful products have been donated that they are telling people to stop bringing blankets, clothes, hygiene products etc because there's nowhere to store the stuff. Good job Victorians with the generosity in that regard. Money helps people decide their own priorities, find somewhere to stay and ultimately rebuild. Let's not forget there are people who lost everything but their lives and don't have insurance. Even a little bit of money would help because if every Aussie gave two dollars, that's already well into the millions of money raised.

Apparently there is going to be a telethon on channel nine on Thursday too but the above is the main fund and probably the one that will be best distributed.

polarthestral @ 2009-02-09T07:10:00

2009-02-08T20:12:45Z

Jesus Christ Victoria...

I have no idea what to say.

108 people...

Footage of the fire is out of this world hellish. The coverage is just gut wrenching considering two journalists got caught in it so it's personal for both news channels I normally watch. The channel nine veteran didn't make it, but the channel seven journalist's wife made it (they kept playing this gut wrenching mobile phone 'interview' with him trying to get through the road blocks to where his wife was trapped in the middle of the inferno - she'd just rung him 'screaming'...*shudders*). There were so many towns that got swamped from all angles because of those fierce hot winds making the fire jump all over the place and change directions. There was nowhere to run and no warning. I knew it would be far worse than Ash Wednesday because they didn't have access to a lot of those swamped towns and the body count was already at 50 yesterday. But 108 and still counting???

*shudders*

What a horrible task: going from car to burned out car, house to burned down house looking for bodies and trying to figure out who is missing.

I'll never forget images of those burned out pile ups. All those people whose cars got swamped on the road, whole families wiped out as they tried to outrun the fire. What a horrible way to die.

Good fandom, good life. A few minor bumps and wheezes.

2009-01-29T11:48:18Z

Hi all, I've been away on holiday and I'll probably never catch up on my Flist so sorry if I missed big news in the last three weeks.

Fandom Update

- I watched the first three episodes of The Tudors. It's enjoyable and always a pleasure to see Jonatan Rhys Meyers getting his Evil English on. :) Found myself composing a drinking game:
1) Every time Henry has a new lady in waiting...awaitig him, do a shot and say, 'It's good to be the king.'

- I watched Lost in Austen and LOVED it. I wish it was the same length as the BBC P&P so they could have included some of the characters that always get cut and thus I could really feel she stepped into the book and not a movie version of the book. I also felt they played fast and loose with Wickham. It was clever in terms of the storyline with Darcy's sister, but ignored a lot of the other stuff he did in the book, making him entirely too rosy for my taste. It was hard to hate it though because the actor was so charismatic and just WONDERFUL to watch. I ended up just considering him an original character and loving him. He also didn't seem so bad with Amanda there, because a lot of modern men behave the way Wickham did back then - context is everything. I kept hoping Wickham would go back to our time at the end because he belonged there and it would have been a nice twist to see him end up in our reality. Very enjoyable and I'll definitely be getting it on DVD. Colin Firth is still the best Darcy though :) (I cracked up when Amanda said 'he's no Colin Firth' tehe)

- I saw the latest Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. I thought the first movie was enjoyable and slick. Nothing I'll ever LOVE (especially not after the dreaded sword moment at the end that made me crack up and almost ruined the movie) but solid. I didn't like the second film so much even though I enjoyed Tannis and the opening historical scene. I felt it didn't continue the story in a way that felt relevant to the core of the first film (Len Wiseman even changed the location from urban London to a slavic forest because he didn't want to make the "same movie"; um, Len, location doesn't make the story *pats*). Lucian was dead, lycans seemed non-existent except for the few easily killed slaves and the crazy ones at the end. The whole reason I liked the concept of the first film was because of the goth, urban war between vampires and lycans. No lycans, no likie. What am I saying, the coven was entirely slaughtered too, so there weren't even VAMPIRES other than the core cast. Thus when I saw the third film was called Rise of the Lycans I had a moment of giddy squee and relief that the war I was interested in was finally being explored.

No Kate Beckinsale. No Scott Speedman. I don't hate them but I never found them as charismatic as Lucian nor did I care about their love story in the same way I cared about Lucian/Sanja. The comparatively weak leads are gone to be replacd by Lucian (awesomely talented Michael Sheen) and Viktor (Bill Nighy) - the two strongest actors in the whole series. Lucian is my favourite character and I was rivetted for the whole film. Due to the fact it was a prequel, they couldn't just kill all the best characters for lack of any credible story (which is what I felt happened in Underworld: Evolution with a whole bunch of characters being killed for no useful reason). Thus all the fight scenes had to be spectacular visually rather than just gory. The story was propelled by CHARACTER and even though there were awesome special effects, they didn't take precedence over the story or overwhelm it. That's AMAZING in the first film considering I think both the first and the sequel occasionally stumbled over special effect bonanzas (The trademark extreme blue wash is still in place by the way)

There was effort and equal struggles, there was motive and new information. There were actual WAR scenes. Lucian maintained his place as the strongest character due to the brilliant acting of Michael Sheen - they even managed to make him look younger by giving him a tan. They did well to match scenes from this film, to Lucian's flashbacks in the first. We get to learn more about how Raze got to be Lucian's right-hand lycan. We basically knew what happened but it was wonderful to see it fleshed out. The part I loved best about Underworld was the backstory, the history and how that felt different to so many other vampire films. To see a full length feature dedicated solely to exploring that history is SO FREAKIN AWESOME.

I just wanted to leave a note that if anyone enjoyed this series and had reservations about the third movie - don't. I know Kate isn't in it and her hubby Len Wiseman didn't direct it. That sent off my alarm bells too. But it was the best film of the entire series for me. It wasn't just about seeing a sexy girl kick ass in stretchy spandex, it felt like there was more story and the acting was by and large superior due to the strong character actors taking the lead roles. AWESOME. I'm so happy to go into the third installment of a series and like it BEST. Wow.

I'll definitely be getting it on DVD.

- Apparently Shiri Appleby's stalled pilot To Love and Die is going ahead after all. I had given up on this pilot after such a long wait. Perhaps they were waiting for Shiri to finish filming on ER? I'm not sure I'm as morbidly interested as I was before but I'll still watch it because for some reason I still have a big soft spot for Shiri Appleby.

What's with this run of luck in the fandom department? Yay!

Real Life Update

- Finally received my study package for my new course. Yay! I start at the end of February. Solid career path here I come!

- I am back from my holiday to the south coast and I have a tan. For those that don't know I'm normally so white, I'm almost blue. It's singular. Every time I look in the mirror, I get a jolt. It was mostly relaxing and undid the knot of fatigue I had gathered inside. But it went sour in the middle when the two babies both got eye infections and then another virus on top of that (we think there was something in the kiddy pool at the beach). Plus my niece fell off the bottom of a slide, where she'd been sitting stationary about twenty centimetres off the ground and somehow dislocated her femur (sp?) out of her elbow. Ouch and .... weird. All in all we were at the hospital four times.

Plus my sister came down late after work on Australia Day and was caught on that train that had the 30 versus 7 or so brawl. She said the train stoppe at Wollongong and cops came from EVERYWHERE onto that carriage to get those fucking assholes. Jumped the tracks, over the gates. She wasn't on the carriage but she heard witnesses saying that the poor seven guys didn't even do anything. It was started when a thug from the larger group called one of the seven victims a dog and he had the gall to ask, "Who are you calling a dog?" Why do drunk wankers go out in gangs looking for a fight? Why do guys find that amusing? I don't get it at all. Not to mention that after jumping on this poor guy and all his friends just for sitting there, they acually beat the shit out of an epileptic who wasn't even in the fight. He was having a seizure and they beat him up while he was out of it. What kind of sick fuck does that? Oh Sydney....I'm glad I had no TV to watch all the sad news reports and got to spend a pleasant Australia Day far away from you.

polarthestral @ 2009-01-05T19:49:00

2009-01-05T10:43:27Z

Love the movie meme! Gakked from shangri__la and queen_haq.

Pick your top 20 movies and post their movie posters.

My list will probably surprise no one and I’m just doing based on the movies I own because I love a lot of films and I’ll never remember the ones I haven’t been able to find/can’t afford.

In no particular order:

1) The Princess Bride:
Originally a book by one of the best script writers in Hollywood (he of the snappy dialogue from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid) and finally turned into a low budget cult classic. By all rights this film should be lame, but it's made with love and a tongue firmly planted in the cheek. Always makes me smile.

2) The Usual Suspects:
It bumped Se7en from my list because there's only one Kevin Spacey crime film that will go down in cinematic infamy and it's this one. Just so enjoyable, with one of the best edited final scenes. Essence of cool.

3) Dead Poets Society
The original serious Robin Williams classic. It's got a lot of my favourite male 80s stars, it's heartbreaking and it has baby Ethan Hawke. Awww. As an English student, I've always longed for a teacher like John Keating and been disappointed by reality. O Captain, my Captain!

4) Dogma
It may not be everyone's favourite, but this is by far my favourite Kevin Smith film. It has issues I'm interested in, Alan Rickman, Ben and Matt relaxing back into their great friendship and having fun. It's a great script and clever and an introductory disclaimer that reminded me a lot of the moose jokes in Monty Python. This is the film that showed the world Matt Damon was funny.

5) Good Will Hunting
I like films that get made because, even if the writer is relatively unknown, the script is just that good. I loved this script which has always made me respect Matt Damon and Ben Affleck even if some of their work has fallen flat for me. For some reason I love the Boston setting - it's a great social microcosm - and it's one of those films that explores a variety of themes,with a clever script, strong direction and perfect cast. People say it's not perfect but it's close for me.

6) Grosse Pointe Blank
I can't have a favourite films list without John Cusack. One of my 'thinking woman's' crushes. He's awesome. This is my favourite of all his films and the film is made gold by Dan Aykroyd singing, "I'll be blowing your fucking head off, I'll be blowing your fucking head off when I come!" lol

7) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I love British humour when it plays out like this. Alan Rickman was perfect casting for a manic-depressive robot, everything he says makes me crack up. But I pretty much love the whole cast and it's great watching a film where everybody is having fun, no one's taking it seriously and it becomes a great, relaxing viewing experience.

8) Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

AWESOME! Any movie that makes me love Val Kilmer has to be something special. I detested that guy, couldn't remember a film of his that I liked and then this pot of gold flattened me. Every line he delivers is awesome, his chemistry with Robert Downey Jnr is off the charts and the whole thing is just so damn great.

9) Liar Liar

My favourite comedy of all time. I find myself quoting it without realizing it. It makes me laugh every time which is rare for a comedy. Jim Carrey at his best.

10) The Notebook
The best shmaltzy romance of all time in my opinion. There's only one reason I loved it. Chemistry. I was talking to my sister about how a bad kiss can ruin a romance even if there was chemistry up until that point. The example I used was this film - how much would this film pale if their kisses looked awkward as some screen kisses do? Their chemistry made everyting fall into place. This is a film based on a book based on real characters in the life of Nicholas Sparks. You can tell this film was made with love on every level - dedication. You can tell just by comparing this film with other Nicholas Sparks films. I didn't like the other Nicholas Sparks novels-turned-films at all.

11) Reality Bites

Cult classic and the only type of Ben Stiller I can stomach, really. Ethan Hawke, Winona Ryder. My-My-My-Sharona. LOVE.

12) Stardust

One of the few films I love more than the novel (though, again, I may be in the minority). Michelle Pfeiffer proves women can get uncannily prettier with age. Robert Deniro once again proves he can make fun of himself, this time as a bit of a woopsy. :) It reminds me of The Princess Bride and embraces all the genre cliches with that sharp tongue in the cheek. I think that's why I prefer the film, I think it embraces the innocence of the genre a bit more than the novel.

13) Walk the Line

Hands down my favourite film at the moment. Great acting, great script, beautiful direction, one of my favourite cinematic eras, beautiful music and the wonderful background of realism in every biopic. I couldn't complain about any facet of this film and we all know how critical I can be. *pets Joaquin*

14) Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

It's amazing how much this film still holds up to comparison in the Pixar generation. It is so well made and I just love watching how HARD it was to make on the DVD features. So much harder back then and yet so much love, and blood and sweat and plenty of tears went in to getting it just right. Disney charaters alongside Warner charaters. Betty Boop! Dumbo! All in this great film noir style that reminds one of classic toons like Red Hot Riding Hood. Sooooo good.

15) Almost Famous

Another one of those films partially based on reality. Told with love and awesome music. I am a Golden God!

16) Death Becomes Her

Another front runner of modern visual effects with plenty of special effects never done before. It's kooky, dark and original. Bruce Willis as a bumbling, overweight dork with weak will - you don't see that often. Streep had never really done comedy like this before either and she's perfect as usual. I like this because it's so different with a lot of great line deliveries. "I can see right THROUGH you."

17) Fight Club

Original special effects. Great interpretation of the novel. Brad Pitt, Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter. Actually the whole cast. One of the best endings too.

18) Gattaca

I always thought this was the best dystopic, sci-fi film of all time and not just because Ethan Hawke was tre pretty. Then I did a film/science course and this was the film the sci profs believed was the most frighteningly realistic, within-the-realms-of-future-possibility film ever made. Doubled my love seeing it from their perspective.

19) Mystic River
I have new Dennis Lehane love but I have old Sean Penn love. Another scratch at my Boston fetish with a wonderfully balanced film.

20) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
I had to put one of the films on the list and I chose this one because it was the first film that really had style and Sirius is my favourite characer. Every film had a pet hate but I can't hate this film despite disagreeing with the cuts. It's the Marauders film after all. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2009-01-01T06:03:40Z

My New Year's can be summed up in two words: Wine Bad.

I don't normally drink wine since I like "anything brown" but I won a bottle of Oyster Bay in the work Christmas give away. This wine didn't taste like vinegar as most wines do to me. I drank it too fast because it was like drinking a breezer, it was that nice tasting. But it was not a breezer and it felt more like a sledgehammer when it hit me all at once. lol

I had a really good time but this is the first time I've woken up in a strange place with a bandaid on my face, wondering what the hell happened after I went swimming.

Uh huh.

Apparently there was vomiting. And giggling. Hopefully not simultaneously because that would be weird and gross.

If you intend to go out and drink a lot and have a good time, follow the sage and obvious wisdom all party goers should follow but I stupidly decided not to:
1) The day you plan to go drinking - eat normally, eat regularly - don't just have a small roll and a couple of bites of party food.
2) Wine does not mix with vodka, champagne, brandy or gin. Do not mix wine with one of these things. Let alone all of them.
3) Pace yourself. (Okay, okay it may be hard to follow this one during all the toasts on New Year's)
4) Don't go freakin swimming while obviously drunk.

I'm sticking to Jack Daniels in the future and I have the most awesome friends who took care of my truly wasted self. I had a good time and I've been reassured by the aforementioned awesome people that I didn't ruin their night (in fact, I didn't make it to midnight - so no problem *slaps self*). I hope the conversation amuses you. I'll start in the "funny" bit:

Drunken Idiot: How did I cut my knee?

Saintly Friend: No idea. We noticed it was bleeding and put a bandaid on it since we had them out for your face. [Edit: don't ask]

Drunken Idiot: Well, at least I only passed out. I would have hated vomiting.

Saintly Friend: [pause] Oh, you vomited. You vomited a lot. In the toilet then, when the boys carried you to the couch, on yourself.

Drunken Idiot: [pause] I don't remember that at all. How can I remember you guys laughing as you stuck a bandaid on my chin, being placed on the couch and not the vomiting?

Saintly Friend: [laughing uproariously] Well you vomited. You vomited a lot.

Drunken Idiot: Damnt it, I hadn't vomited since highschool - oh the humiliation. I'm so glad I ran away when I woke up. I woke up alone downstairs to the sun - whoops, that wasn't there a second ago. Went upstairs, found my clothes and got dressed while George was sleeping on the couch. Tried to tip toe down my walk of shame but Mel's mum found me. Oh god - that's why she asked if I was feeling okay. She offered me a ride home but she was still tipsy and asked me to give her an hour or so. But I thought no way! George will wake up and smug all over me. So I left. Thank god. That was when I thought I'd only passed out, I couldn't have handled the smug jokes from him if he knew all this other crap.

Saintly Friend: Hee, ha and lots of teeheeing.

Drunken Idiot: I didn't vomit on Tara, did I? She stuck the bandaid on my face, I remember that. She was in the strike zone.

Saintly Friend: No. You have good aim when drunk, didn't miss the toilet. We were really worried though because it lasted a long time and when we got you back to the couch you were still out of it. So we had Jovan examine you.

Drunken Idiot: [Massive Pause] WHAT???????????

[Edit: Jovan is a doctor but also a massive slut. Plus we have this snarky banter thing that leans more toward hate than love]

Saintly Friend: Not that kind of examination. [laughter] He said you were fine.

Drunken Idiot: Even though I was unconscious after I hit my head while drunk? Maybe he just wanted me to slip into a coma and die.

Saintly Friend: No. That would have brought the party way down.

Drunken Idiot: Wait...how come I don't smell like vomit? [Said while quickly pulling long hair across face and inhaling - nope, no vomit smell] Oh God. What if I just can't smell it 'cause I'm used to it and I took a train and a bus home stinking up the place. Thank God it's New Years and normal. I can't believe I took a walk of shame.

Saintly Friend: [laughing so hard it's embarassing] Don't worry, you don't smell. I kissed you goodbye and you didn't smell.

Drunken Idiot Internally: Hurrah!! I must tell everyone at Fanfiction.net that some people DO have fragrantless vomit.

Saintly Friend: We did clean your chest up a bit with a towel though.

Drunken Idiot Internally: Oh....dear....god. Tell me the girls did that.

Saintly (But Crazy) Friend: It was a really nice wine you brought though. I'd drink that with you again.

Drunken Idiot: Riiiight.

Drunken Idiot Internally: Not a bloody chance in hell. It gave me amnesia. It doesn't matter how drunk I get, I normally remember every, humiliating detail. At least that way the humiliation can't jump out and take me by surprise.

Saintly Friend: I wasn't surprised. You were doing huge vodka shots with George out of plastic party cups. That's not a standard drink, Belinda. [Seriously, I'm not making this up - she said that in a schoolmarm voice]

Drunken Idiot: I drank vodka straight?

Drunken Idiot Internally: Apparently Drunk Belinda has stronger taste buds than Sober Belinda.

Saintly Friend: [Pause] Yes. [Pause] I'm going to kill George. You can always count on him to get someone wasted.

Drunken Idiot: I can't believe I almost gave him a free strip show this morning!

You can't make that stuff up but at least I started the year on the right note.

Oh yeah. Fuck.

:)

Hope you had equally amusing but ever so less embarassing nights. MWA! HAPPY NEW YEAR FLIST!! I hope this gave you some new year giggles.

School is a battlefield for your heart.

2008-12-28T11:06:09Z

I hope everyone had a great Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate at this time of the year) and will have a wonderful New Year if I don't get online before then. I'm so exhausted and it's back to work tomorrow but it was great to spend so much time with family. Now I'm just winding down before tomorrow. I was asked to meet friends for drinks but I think I'd be completely off kilter tomorrow if I did that and it was probably a good idea since I've had my first afternoon nap in years today. lol

I went shopping today to get rid of all those Christmas vouchers in the post-Christmas sales. Naturally family and friends who were stumped got me JB-HiFi vouchers. lol This means that I finally own The Tudors and I also picked up My So-Called Life and a bunch of movies. The best thing was getting the complete Monty Python collection. Hee. It includes a little Black Knight doll with detachable limbs. Best. Thing. Ever. :)

I couldn't remember much about My So-Called Life but it was so cheap and I'm watching it now. The kids in it look NORMAL and that makes me love it already. I mean they have late 80s/early 90s clothes but Claire Danes doesn't have a fashionable haircut and there's a bunch of normal looking kids with flaws. The only show of my generation that I can remember including real teen flaws was Freaks and Geeks and we all know how long that lasted. Oh and I completely forgot the guy who played Sean Deluca on Roswell was in this show. I swear he pops up in so many things I used to love (he was the bad, pink-shirt guy in Felicity) but I only remember him because of Roswell. lol

There's something about mobile phones on TV that irritate me. I prefer teen shows sans mobile phones. Is that weird? Maybe I'm getting old and it reminds me of "simpler times" when friends actually had to see each other to communicate so readily. Heh. It's probably why I liked That 70s Show. I think the mobile phone changed the way group dynamics are portrayed on TV, plus it makes a lot of "high drama" moments contrived when they have to figure out a way for them to be without a mobile so they can't call for help etc. That's my overthought generalization of the day and another reason I like My So-Called Life. ;) It's probably one of the reasons why I'll never LOVE Gossip Girl too despite the awesome of the Chuck/Blair dynamic.

Nappy go down the hoooooooole.

2008-12-17T07:34:00Z

Eww...nappy came back.

Hee.

In a fit of nostalgia I just bought Tiny Toon Adventures from Amazon. What can I say I'm from the generation reared on Baby Plucky's interesting toilet habits and fun elevator rides. Elevator go down the hoooooole - STOP. I push the button!

I thought I'd regret that decision but I actually looked around and found Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain. Hey, remember when afternoon cartoons were good, or was I the only one who loved all of these?

Oh and I may get Freakazoid for my nephew. He has bad balance so he tends to walk around with his arms in the Superman position. I've taken to following him around going zsssshhh-zsshhhhh-zsssssh so now when he does it he tries to make the noise. Sounds more like spit is caught in his mouth but it still cracks me up every time. He's my little Freakazoid. *ruffles*

Finally saw "Australia"

2008-12-07T08:34:27Z

I loved Australia. Loved it. More than Moulin Rouge. I haven't hated anything that Baz has done but I'm excited that he continues to deliver films I love more and more as his career goes on. Rare.

- First and foremost I want to address the issue of historical accuracy regarding the Darwin bombing. I wanted to see the bombing of Darwin on film but I don't think I expected a perfect representation of historical fact in this film. I heard it has been slammed by certain Australian critics and viewers for historical inaccuracy in terms of Japanese troops setting foot on an Island off the coast.

Their criticism is probably true, I don't know the history of the bombing with that exactitude. I don't know if there was an island of children from the stolen generation, I don't know if Japanese troops landed there. I only know they didn't set foot on the mainland much like with Pearl Harbour and that remains the same. I understand criticism from people who lived through Darwin because they can't help feeling that way. Mostly, I don't understand why people expect accuracy on an event that takes up about ten minutes of the film. It's hard to even expect historical accuracy in a two hour movie based solely on a specific act of war. Like Pearl Harbour - do we consider that perfectly historical? Heh. The bombing of Darwin in this film acts as a dramatic background to the central conflict of the story regarding the "epic" love of Sarah and the Drover and their connection to a child of the stolen generation. That's all. The bombing becomes the perfect foil to divide them and bring them together - it is not concentrated on in historical detail, nor should it be when Baz makes films like fables.

It is a Baz Lurhman film. He's an MTV style director who will choose theatrical over subtle, big over small. When he tells a small story, he tells it in big and bright detail. I don't love that in a lot of directors but I find it endearing in Baz. I can't imagine anyone entering a Baz Luhrman film expecting subtle historical accuracy.

All that said - onto the random good thoughts.

- Cinematography didn't disappoint. It was beautiful. I was a little disappointed in some obvious digital landscapes especially concerning the view of the ocean in Darwin but I think that might have something to do with that Port no longer existing in reality (it was bombed to buggery after all). The landscape shots capatured the differing nature of the land from the dusty dry season to the flourishing wet. Pretty, pretty.

- The Aboriginal boy was AMAZING. He has beautiful eyes, wonderful presence and his voice narrating the story accentuated the fable quality the whole film had (we also saw him in the tourism advertisement prior to the viewing). He is also a remarkable actor that was directed with care. The shot of him climbing onto the back of the horse and emerging from the billabong is still one of my favourites. There's also a moment later in the film when he makes Mick Dundee eat his heart out by stopping a whole herd of cattle in their tracks by singing. It sounds ridiculous, right? It is. But it's Baz and this kid has been introduced as quite magical (his grandfather, King George, is said to have the same mystical qualities) and his voice is so beautiful that somehow it ... works. Of course, it's completely unrealistic but see above. Baz does things in a big way and this moment is meant to be magical, we're not meant to marvel at the realism and even the characters react with incredulity. It's beautifully shot because Baz has wonderful delicate rhythm with his shot editing. I didn't laugh, my heart was thumping and mostly I was meditating on how beautiful the actor looked crying, his arms stretched out and singing. Beautiful shot.

- I love that Baz didn't make the film a complete departure from his past work. He couldn't resist tying the narrative into the power of story telling especially in a musical form. That was an important theme of his past works, especially Moulin Rouge. The music was downgraded and less intrusive in this film but he still had one pop song to tie characters together through symbolic verse and I think it so GREAT that he chose "Somewhere over the Rainbow". Australia is called OZ after all and it was hilarious when Nicole Kidman's character Sarah was trying to calm Nulla (sp??) down by telling him the story of the Wizard of Oz REALLY badly. The song is repeated several times in different ways and then comes back at the end. It's so Baz and I love that this film continued his wonderful ability to appreciate and utilise a good song dramatically. Much the same as Quentin Tarantino. The difference with this film was that we know Aboriginals do largely pass stories down orally and that works great with how Baz likes to use music.

- Nicole, Nicole, Nicole. I feel horrible that you have been blamed for why this film 'doesn't work'. That people seem to have gone off you. I LOVE your work with Baz Luhrman. Every time I laughed in this movie, it was because of you. I don't know if it's because Baz Luhrman understands Nicole better or just allows her to let go, but she seems to open up in his films more than others. She had prim British moments that were absolutely hilarious and I think this is my favourite charcter of Nicole's. When she whipped David Wenham across the face I cheered. Feisty. :)

- HUGH JACKMAN. Hugh fucking Jackman. You're still sex on legs and I knew I wanted to hear your thick Australian accent on film again but I didn't know how much until you started talking. Everytime he talked I was smiling stupidly. Only he could say 'crikey' without me wanting to slap him. Somehow he divorced the term from Steve Irwin and it doesn't sound as ridiculous any more. (Also love how Sarah mocked the phrase during the film with Nicole's faux British accent) Apart from looking beautiful and being generally yummy, it was great to seem him play the rough and tumble Australian bloke again. Haven't seen it since Paperback Hero and that film isn't exactly a masterpiece like this one. He also did really nice work in the dramatic scenes in the Darwin bombing. You've been in too many action films, Hugh, I'd forgotten you can act.

- On chemistry. I was so surprised that they had such great chemistry. Mostly because I figured they were cast in this film because they are two of the biggest exported Australian actors, not because they played well off each other or had chemistry. I don't think they've worked together before. Also there's the awkward factor of making out with one of your best friends' husband.

My favourite scene between them was after their first romantic moment. There's this great awkward conversation. Films don't normally include conversations like this one. Establishing how little they know about their past lives, past loves and positions on children. It was hitting on all these awkward, sensitive points and the scene hummed with a nice nervous tension. Nicole really brightened in the passionate scenes too and I can't remember seeing her in a hot scene before....*thinks* Nope.

I think they work great together and I'd love to see them work together again.

- Also David Wenham as a BAD GUY. Awesome sauce. He did so great! I love him. Mmm, Faramir.

- Brian BROWN. I didn't even know he was still acting!! Awww, Brian Brown.

- Once again it was a case of spot-the-red-curtain-star. My favourite recycled minor role in this one was Ivan the barman, who played the narcoleptic Argentinian in Moulin Rouge. Although David Wenham had a small role as the cross-dressing original writer of the musical in Moulin Rouge so we could count him too. Paul Mercurio's father from Strictly Ballroom also had a small role. No John Leguizamo though. *pouts*

- One of my favourite shots of the film was the pan over all the tiny shoes on the island where the stolen children were abandoned to the Japanese bombing. There were a lot of images like that from World War II, especially in Nazi concentration camps where items like that were stacked after being confiscated from gassed victims. Eerie and immediately striking.

- I think the film tried to explore a variety of themes as a snap shot of important Australian issues that could be understood by an international audience. In fact this film feels like it's aimed at an international audience more than the Australian audience. For instance, the very first sentence in the introductory notes mentions 'Pearl Harbour' in relation to the bombing of Darwin, establishing empathy. Then it explores issues of love, judgement, hard times on alien landscaps ala westerns, and racial inequality. All things that are universal experiences in British colonies. It feels like an epic western romance situated within a particular political climate of war.

The one thing I wasn't sure about was the theme of the stolen generation, in regards to Nulla's relationship with Sarah. I think it was resolved well but I was unsure how I'd feel if he just lived happily ever after in this white family. After all that is almost what the stolen generation was about - taking children from their black parents to indoctrinate the 'black culture' out of them. The film seemed to use the story of this biracial child to explore issues of assimiliation and integration: bringing two groups of people together rather than forcing a biracial child to choose between worlds when he feels he belongs in neither exclusively. Bringing races together, accepting difference and allowing the exploration of both worlds without fearing the loss of half a person's culture, in exploring the other. I think that part of the narrative wasn't always executed perfectly, but worked most of the time.

I didn't expect historical accuracy, but I loved the historical setting. I thought the bombing of Darwin looked great on film, short as it was. I thought Hugh was wonderful in that scene: his acting was brilliant and he looked pretty too. :) Loved the use of song and the cinematography and the who's who of both the red curtain trilogy and the Australian film industry - all on the top of their game and trying so hard to make this film great. LOVED IT.

I haven't checked how the film is doing though I heard not that great in comparison to the price it cost to make it. But you know what? It doesnt' matter. This film has a great big advertizing deal too. Ah, the upside of selling yourself. lol

In short, I think it's a wonderful film that aims to sell drama and romance BIG and delivers in that regard. For those who want a subtle drama, you probably wouldn't look for a Baz Luhrman film anyway, right? Tre pretty on every level. I'll be buying it as soon as it comes out with DVD. I still have to repurchase all the red curtain trilogy now that I think about it. I have them on VHS not DVD. Heeee.

polarthestral @ 2008-12-05T23:07:00

2008-12-05T12:43:07Z

Canal Road is finally playing it's last episodes but I think I missed one. *pouts* I actually preferred this show over Underbelly but it didn't have the hype and died a quick death. On second thought, maybe I missed several episodes because those characters weren't living together last time I saw this. Dang it. It's a Brooke Satchwell centred episode too. She's the actress that I've been thinking about lately because she was trapped in that horrible massacre in India.

When she dreamed her teeth were falling out I about squirmed out of my chair. It reminded me of that dream from Alias when Sydney pulled the tubes from her guts. Or whenever I see someone clamp a metal object onto an eye (hello A Clockwork Orange). There's just some things that are nasty and cause instinctive recoil. Teeth and blood clanking into a sink from someone's mouth....*shudders* Must be why it's a common dream and a common metaphorical image.

Brooke's character, Bridget, has an N.F.R. tat over her heart. Awesomely dark. (Not For Resuscitation for those interested.) Potentially problematic if someone is trying to kill her. Just slightly. Heh.

She wasn't my favourite character on the show but I'm really enjoying this episode. Great acting. I believe she's dying. I'm still undecided on whether I want to get this series on DVD. There aren't many Australian series I like and I do want to support quality homemade stuff. Hmmm.

I've given it some thought, sir, and I think it needs another day of thought.

2008-12-04T10:23:08Z

Julie Gonzalo was always beautiful. But I LOVE her with the short brunette bob in Eli Stone. I thought she was great in the whole episode. She had perfect tone for the show and was a hilariously bad lawyer (with good intentions). She amused me even though some of the mistakes she made in court were obvious (leading the witness!!! And no one objected!). I didn't care that the court scene was so bad because she was so endearingly hopeful and hopeless. (Plus, it'd be like expecting legal realism on Ally McBeal with Ooga Chugga baby dancing in the background)

Brunette Julie looks mature and different to the many blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauties in Hollywood these days. She joins my list of famous "blondes" I prefer as brunettes (even though they're pretty both ways). The list also inclues Reese Witherspoon, Charlize Theron, Sarah Michelle Gellar and, more recently, Julie Benz.

Anyone else sick of platinum blonde? It's so....Hollywood. The degree of blonde is usually fake and when it's white blonde I'm reminded of bleach and plastic boobs. Not all the girls I listed are natural blondes and yet a lot of actresses go blonde so they get work.

OMIGOD!!! Victor Garber singing FREEDOM. That scene owns me!! LMAO

I just got this weird feeling I have Julie's name wrong...in which case sorry - I'm a space head.

Chuck and Blair 2.12

I'm going to avoid discussion of this show because I read the comments on the episode thread and thought the episode would suck from the way Chuck/Blair fans were reacting. But I liked their scenes and the set up for Chuck's reaction in the next episode (although it was odd we didn't see him get the news in this episode when he's the one it would effect the most).

It was obvious there were going to be either a) Blair/Chuck dopplegangers or b) Blair and Chuck would show up with no spare date because they know they're perfect for each other. Nonetheless I was amused because they play off each other well. I liked the way Chuck stared uncomfortably at the dopplegangers when they returned to kissing and he was alone. It was sad and a little pathetic that they both kept staring at Beta Chuck/Blair kissing. You're so pathetic for each other. I'd say just do it already but I like how screwed up you both are so NEVER do it. Never ruin this for me with yucky canon shmoop fests that will destroy you both.

The part of me that wants to yell "DO IT RIP HIS CLOTHES OFF!" did come out at the way Blair stared at Chuck when he told her to shut up. Those were some mighty strong sex eyes. I never realized it before, but I think she's his submissive. Is that why this relationship works? Because no one else in that school could possibly dominate Blair Waldorf? ;) lol

But seriously....

I was more interested in the way his father died. He already believed his father blamed him for his mother's death and I think he blames himself for some reason I'm not sure we know yet (do correct me if I'm wrong). Now he called his father to let him know about Lily and his father ends up dead. Who does he blame? Himself or Lily? Well...bring on the vengeance, I say. Chuck for all intents and purposes is a KID and what did Lily think she was doing chaperoning that dance and sorting out issues there where all the kids could see, including her husband's kid. Blegh.

UNLEASH THE EVIL. lol

Inside, I think he's going to blame himself and the Chuck who flirted with Blair in this episode is going to go okay-love-you-bye-bye. I HATE that yet another of the male characters I love is now an orphan. LOL Do I have some kind of kink??? You can't really blame me for this when half the time they are orphaned when I already like them but STILL. One day I'll type up a list of all the poor-little-orphan-boys I've wanted to snuggle and marvel at how sick I am.

Even though I'm miffed he's dead for the above reason, I think it will have good dramatic potential if they use. Hell hath no fury like a Chuck Bass scorned after all. This has potential to cause rifts between Chuck and Lily. Consequently Chuck and Serena. Consequently Chuck and Dan (well...a bigger one). The more interesting potential conflict would then be between Serena and Blair. If Chuck gets dark and vengeful over the reason his dad was rushing and got killed - will she support him? Or have the back of her innocent bff? We all know Chuck has the potential to take out everyone in a distraught state. He took down Blair HARD when she broke his heart in season one (I still maintain she was hurting him first and then he went evil genius on her in a way she couldn't hope to match).

I vote for any plot that puts Chuck in a position to cause maximum fucked up damage. Thus I am behind this move. Especially on the heels of yet more confirmation of Chuck/Blair KNOWING they are perfect for each other but being too Chuck/Blair to do anything about it.

polarthestral @ 2008-12-03T22:39:00

2008-12-03T12:47:08Z

Hmmm. Nine just started playing Gossip Girl in the 10.30pm slot. Is this because the first season has already played on Fox or are expectations that low? lol Low expectations could be a good thing if it means this slot is locked in no matter the ratings. We all know how teen shows go in this country...

I thought I might as well watch a full episode...

Not sure I'll watch it but at least I'll be able to see if I give a stuff about the other characters.

I still think Serena looks too old to be friends with the other characters. Is the actress around the same age? Even in the Pilot she looks twenty-something whereas Blair could still pass as a teenager.

Nate is such a wooden jerk. Did a lot of people like Nate and Serena when the Pilot aired? Did people hate Blair and grow to love her? My perspective is obviously skewed but Blair has a right to be bitchy in the Pilot and Serena deserves what Blair dishes. Am I right? She comes back and acts like nothing is wrong then manipulates Blair with nostalgia to be best buddies again and all the time she's fucked Blair's lifelong boyfriend and hasn't told her. Not cool. But seriously Nate. I think it's the bad acting that makes it worse (though I hear he's improved, he's still horrendous in the Pilot). He doesn't seem to even feel Blair's pain when she cries at the betrayal - he just looks irritated. Same at lunch and in the second episode when he says she forgives him or she doesn't. Like she's the one with the problem. Serena is slightly more repentant but even she doesn't really apologize because she's too busy being put out by Blair's wrath.

I admit I laughed when Dan said he over budgeted on travel time during his date with Serena. His dad's oh-no-you-did-NOT-say-that face was classic. BWAH! Never change Dan. You amuse me so you uptight little jerk.

Oh and I have watched the dreaded attempted rape scenes from early season one. Jenny and Serena. Good to know and hard to reconcile with genuine enjoyment of Chuck's chemistry with anyone let alone ship him with someone. It's like they changed their mind about Chuck and reigned in the character slightly to pander to chemistry. Thus he became a womaniser and they haven't really touched the date-rape thing again since Chuck/Blair took off. Or was Chuck/Blair always an OTP kind of plan? In which case...odd.

I'm also glad they haven't really redeemed Chuck or tried the la-la-la-subjective-never-happened approach that VM tried to take with Dick Casablancas (this from the mouth of Rob Thomas). I think Chuck remains essentially a misogynist who believes he had the right to treat Jenny the way he did. He's not sorry at all. This disturbs me but then Blair is evil in her own way and the thing that probably makes Blair/Chuck attractive to more people is the fact he asks Blair if she's sure before the limo sex. She's still drunk and he still taunts her with it but he was the one that temporarily pulled back from the kiss and interestingly he's not the one who made the first move. He sat perfectly still while Blair slinked over to him and that's very different to the other date rape scenarios in which he was forcing it. The scene is interesting in terms of his character for that reason. He's by no means a good person but even people who are bad news have soft spots and it's a good idea to gravitate to those soft spots to be your best.

Blair is the only exception to his rule of genuine disdain/indifference to the feelings of women. Yet their relationship is still fucked up because he doesn't really care if he hurts Blair, the pain is just an essential part of their bizarre mating ritual. It's tit for tat - she hurts him, he hurts her worse (he really does). The old 'you break my heart, I break you' philosophy.

I don't mind shipping them if they're both evil. Hence avoiding the shmoopfest of a lot of fics. They have to be equals and nasty or at least retain their unique moral codes that most people find nasty. She is the only one I can ship him with because of the above - I don't think he gives a crap about any other girl. No other guy that's been on the show can match it with Blair either.

I find it interesting that Chuck goes after Serena so hard only after seeing her with Nate (using the first chance anyway). He probably could have taken advantage of Bad!Serena much easier in the old days...did he not try anything with her until he saw her screw someone she loved over and decided she was trash? She didn't deserve what he did regardless, I'm just curious what code he believed she broke that made it okay to treat her in a way, I assume, he hadn't before (when she was more vulnerable - see Nate/Serena getting it on while drunk).

Feelings on characters in a nutshell....

Blair: Most likable in the Pilot from my perspective. Every time she was pissed off, I agreed. Thus empathy.

Nate: Knock on wood. Heh.

Jenny: Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwn. The sweet little dumpling thing is getting old. The contrast between Serena kneeing Chuck in the balls herself and Jenny's helpless damsel was kinda pointed too. Not sure I liked it.

Chuck: Obviously he's an asshole who deserves to have his balls cut off. That doesn't stop him from having more presence than all of the other male leads combined twice over. They probably should have realized this before they tried to get him to date rape two girls in one episode. Oh well.

Serena: Blah. She's clearly meant to be the heroine but I didn't feel the presence, thought she looked too old (even if she's beautiful) and I don't get how she can be so tra-la-la with Blair. When she saw Blair at the party was she meant to be hurt that Blair was being a bitch again, or realizing that Blair knew? Didn't get the facial expression at all. I don't feel for her even if I don't dislike her rabidly.

Dan: I think his staid, neurotic, lonely boy thing was amusing in this episode. But when he gets judgemental and holier than thou he bugs. And I already know that's coming. Didn't take away from the fact he's the character I like to laugh at.

Feelings on the show in a nutshell: Meh, not the best teen show of all time. And god KB's voice didn't bug me the other times I've heard it but damn that's a LOT of voiceover. I can understand why some of the actors on the show said it was intrusive because it felt like a DVD commentary sometimes. Understandable in the Pilot episode given that Gossip Girl herself has to be introduced as a bitchy character invested in all their bad behaviour. I'll keep watching it but I doubt I'll stress if the show goes bad. I'm concerned that I don't care about most of the ensemble though, I may not stick with this one.

polarthestral @ 2008-12-03T20:50:00

2008-12-03T09:57:49Z

Apparently Matt Damon friended me on Facebook. Or, you know, some punk who thinks I like him and likes to think he's Matt Damon. Random. I honestly couldn't be bothered doing that.

My friend posted a pic of me on FB in the skirt and shoes I bought for work for those still interested. Not wearing the matching jacket unfortunately.

polarthestral @ 2008-12-01T19:38:00

2008-12-02T06:51:17Z

Grrr. They are selling the house next door to ours and these stupid people keep walking up our driveway to check it out. I wondered if they were having a convention around our car and walked outside and they started asking me questions about whether you could hear the traffic inside the house next door etc. etc. Um...I don't work here, I live here. I live here and not there and if you have questions ask your friendly neighbourhood agent who gets paid to put up with this shit. Plus, if you feel no qualms about trespassing to look at a house - why don't you use the driveway of the house you want to buy? You wouldn't have to crane your neck over a high fence, I wouldn't have to shoo you away and we'd all be happy.

**

I love some things about the summer TV schedule even though most people think this is the time the good shows disappear.

1) TV sitcoms make a comeback. Last year it was That 70s Show five days a week, this year it's How I Met Your Mother starting from the very beginning again. Suit up! (Wow...they look so YOUNG they have baby fat on their faces still...well, two of them do). Granted, this year, we haven't had a sitcom drought like the past couple. Channel Nine seems to play Two and a Half Men every hour on the hour because it's their one trick that works. I get so confused by the schedule - especially when they play three episodes back to back and the kid grows then shrinks and grows again. Play it in order damn it!
2) Fringe is back. Joshua Jackson wheeee!
3) Home and Away is off my TV screen! YAY!

polarthestral @ 2008-11-23T23:01:00

2008-11-23T12:14:04Z

I'm nervous about tomorrow. Paranoid into repacking my bag ten times nervous. I hope I like the job, I think that's why I'm nervous. I don't want another job that will leech my soul (though I suppose that can be considered the essence of the work versus play debate and I should shut up and suck it up). I even pre-empted new shoe blisters with bandaids. It is to LOL.

I'm very happy with how my music vid is going though. I think I'm getting special effect crazy which would usually be bad and distracting. I think it's necessary because the song I am using is "Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge and it's just like trying to tackle a Panic At the Disco! song. I've always wanted to make a video with this song but have passed because of the difficulty factor and I didn't think I could do much with it in WMM. The lyrics and beat are so fast that I feel without cropping, quick cuts and massive effects the video wouldn't match the song. I'm getting stir crazy passing it back and forward between WMM and Premiere but I like all the finished product so far. Yay!

I thought I could have had it done but I hit a patch of lyrics I didn't have clips for. Dang. Back to downloading....

Sisterly love.

2008-11-20T09:57:34Z

A's getting me the Buffy complete collection for my Bday next year. Awwwww. *hugs*

I see me volunteering for a lot of babysitting in the future. lol

It's haunting me...

2008-11-19T14:10:47Z

I was just watching a documentary on the People’s Temple and the Jonestown massacre. I’ve felt slightly uncomfortable using the phrase ‘drinking the kool-aid’ ever since I researched Jim Jones’ cult in University for a law and terrorism Gen Ed course. I have forgotten many subjects I studied, merely working through them in order to pass and move on. But this course I remember so clearly because it was one of those intellectually stimulating courses where everybody believed in their opinion, no one was wrong, and everyone was a passionate advocate of their cause. Opinions weren't merely intellectual and clinical and those are the kind of debates that are important.

Talking on this subject mattered and it was fascinating to be in the same room as Jews and Muslims when discussing the situation in Palestine/Israel in terms of terrorism (fascinating because the Jewish students tended not to think of their militant groups in Israel as ‘terrorists’ but 'freedom fighters' and vice versa - they literally didn't understand why people labelled them as terrorists). When it came to my speech, I obviously didn’t have the same cultural connection to a terrorist group (so my grandparents were Irish, that doesn’t make me feel anything in particular for the IRA). I ended up doing my speech and most of my research on Jonestown.

I went in thinking the terror used within this cult would be simple to explain but it was so complicated. Frighteningly complicated and yet simple. I didn’t question whether I would end up in that situation: trapped in a cult with no way out when I come to my senses. I knew I wouldn’t be there because I don’t have a religious bone in my body let alone zealous enough to succumb to an extreme form. But I was fascinated by the idea of peer pressure in general and how easy people are manipulated into following those around them, against their instincts, for fear of being seen as a coward or a traitor because they don’t conform. That concept is applicable to anything. What is consent when you’re living in a peer pressure cooker, so isolated in such a zealous community that instinctive fear can be overcome by the desire to fit in and be included?

Of course, it’s also intriguing because we’ll never know who “drank the kool-aid” and who was murdered. People drank, people were injected with cyanide and people were shot. Jim Jones’ wife apparently drank willingly after struggling to save the children and failing (most of the 300 or so children were murdered by having the cocktail injected via syringe into their mouths). I can’t imagine what it was like to walk on that scene as a coroner and try to figure out what happened before the heat of the climate and the 900 or so bodies started disease concerns.

I knew the basic facts. That it was termed mass suicide, even though it was closer to a massacre. Or a mixture of both. The sad thing is that most relatives of the victims would never know if their loved one was murdered or died or willingly followed Jim Jones unto death.

But what I found fascinating about this documentary was Stephan Jones' account of the massacre. I’d never heard him speak about it before and it was a discomforting sensation I experienced watching him relate horribly confused emotions so eloquently.

It’s like he sees Jonestown from the outside and the inside and he can make you question whether you would have bowed to peer pressure and ‘drank the kool-aid’ too. Because he wonders what he would have done if he hadn’t been outside the camp that day. He was strong enough to refuse to follow his father's order to kill himself over a radio but he isn't sure he would have been as strong had he been there with all the people in the community he loved.

He has so many horrible things to live with, so many shadows that must mess up his mind. Yet he’s such a good orator that I can’t help but wonder if he has inherited part of his father’s gift and, whether I want to be objective or not, that disturbs me.

I know a lot of people are haunted by their parents actions, but can you imagine carrying around this weight?

The post of royal randomness!

2008-11-18T03:06:26Z

- Why have I all of a sudden started getting new, random reviews from PolarAttraction.com? Is it weird that it makes me feel guilty? I even got one on a Logan/Meg story there. (!!!) Random!

- Am I the only one who hates YouTube and would prefer to download music videos/clips/whatever? A whole bunch of sites I used to visit have converted to youtube embedded clips. I'm sure it saves on bandwidth but blegh.

- Started my first music video in Premiere that I actually intend to finish. I've started others largely to play with clips rather than actually make a video. I like it so far. Hopefully I can finish it by Sunday.

- I want to see Australia this week before work. There's the Hugh Jackman reason and the pretty cinematography reason (those promos I saw at the theatre ages ago looked so beautiful) but I think my primary reason at the moment is for Baz. I liked the camp craziness of Stricly Ballroom (still rememer the Bonds campaign it inspired too), really enjoyed Romeo & Juliet (and was amazed by how many of my frieds didn't realise they were speaking in Shakespeare's iambic pentameter - I don't think anyone else has translated Shakespeare so well for people who don't appreciate Shakespearean verse) and loved Moulin Rouge. But Australia is completely different to that 'trilogy' of musical orgies - he won't be able to overwhelm the audience with fantastic montages of kicking legs and perfectly selected music. It's such a departure from his work and I'm really excited to see what he can do with the epic, landscape, period genre.

Selling Ausrtralia by the landscape is by no means new but we've never had the stars come back at the top of their game, a budget this large, or a director with this much experience throw themselves into a project like this. I'm slightly sad it's being promoted as much as it is when hardly any Australian film gets a good promotional budget and it'll likely annoy people into skipping it.

I think every Australian should see this film just to support the industry. This is the most expensive movie ever made here with two of our biggest stars and one of our best exported directors. If this film flops, unlikely as that is, I can't see a lot of people wanting to invest so much money in an Australian film again and that would be so sad.

Our film industry has such CRAPPY investment that it's really flailing and a lot of good films get overlooke because no one in Australia knows anything about them (see crappy promotion budget). This one needs our support because I don't know how it's going to go overseas. I can't imagine widesweeping international interest in an Australian period piece but maybe the world will surprise in their rush to see Hugh Jackman with his shirt off. :)

- Got my shoes!! Here's a snap of one of them. Couldn't believe how easy it was. I said I want a shoe with white and black patches with a nice sturdy heel and the first store I walked into, I found these:

I don't know if you can tell from the photo but they look really good on. Like really good. I almost didn't buy the because of the heel (sturdy, yes, but did I mention the hill?). But these shoes are not only hot and sturdy but I could wear them with elegant, work or slutty clothes. :)

I also ran out and bought some cheap comfy grosby flats (anyone who walks a lot at work knows these are the shoes to buy unless you like those plasic-looking monstrosities called crocs). Plus another pair of simple, smaller heels. I had to buy at least one killer pair of shoes to match my killer suit because I'm not wearing cheap shoes with that and OH NO...I think I've become a girl. When did that happen?

I'd post a photo of the clothes with the heels if I could take a photo of myself ;)

Speaking of girly things....

GOSSIP GIRL RANDOMNESS

- Do you think Ed Westwick will die of shame in ten years time when he is shown clips of his GG days? Because, much as I love how odd his clothes are, they look odd NOW. So in ten years time it'll be like rewatching Melrose with all the shoulder pads and big soapie hair. Oh the shame. It'll be hilarious.

- Does anyone know if there's a GoGi fic from Chuck's limo driver's perspective? Have we ever met his limo driver? The things (s)he must have tried not to see *Shakes head* I feel like Chuck's limo driver is his version of Dorota. It's overthinking it but I know everyone has to agree about this: Chuck's limo driver must have a partial mind meld with Chuck (imagine the bonus pay for that installation). He always knows the exact time to drive off in order to accentuate Chuck's witty exit lines, usually without any indication from Chuck that he would now like to leave this person by the side of the road. Thus it seems like Chuck's limo is an extention of himself because it moves whenever he thinks about moving and the driver doesn't seem to exist at all. MAYBE the limo is a transformer and there is no human behind the wheel!

I know it's just to help the timing in the scene but you have to wonder if the driver's listening in for his cues, and if so, what else does he listen to? Oh and I think they went to Stalking 101 together. Screw Nate, we know who Chuck's best friend is. Uh huh.